acaba el año

Quedan pocas horas para que acabe este año 2010. Ayer hicimos una pequeña despedida en casa y fue uno de los momentos más bonitos de este año. Cuando algo sale de forma inesperada y sin planificar y disfrutas sin más, es la felicidad que ha llamado a tu puerta y le has dado la bienvenida. Nos divertimos comentando lo que hemos hecho este año y que fue positivo y pedimos deseos para el año nuevo y, lo que es aún más importante, disfrutamos del aquí y el ahora. Sigamos mimándonos y amándonos. Esta canción que he elegido me encanta. Si te la canta alguien, estupendo, y si te la cantas a ti mismo también. Just the way you are.

words

Words are easy if they are true. So they say, the British pop group Take That. It´s a beautiful song about two men that meet after many years of misunderstandings and jeaulosy.They have made the effort to cross the bridge between them to become friends.

Words come easy if they are true. They are stuck at the back of my throat,in the middle of my chest, swirling aroud my head. Yet, they don´t come out. Maybe in these words there are spots of pain, fear, dispair, sadness, recognition, frustration....It´s a painful process. My heart aches. My body aches. Words are all mixed up, connected. They collide, getting crazy not knowing how to go out. What if I am unconsciously not ready to cross that bridge? or if one part of me wants to do it,but the other doesn´t? The first step is the most difficult, there is an empty space under the bridge and I´m afraid of falling down. It seems such a long and fragile bridge. There is a voice inside that keeps saying come on, let´s do this quickly and get over it. Surrender, forgive if you need to, forget if you have to, but hurry up. It´s getting dark and cold and I do want to cross now, before it´s too late. I´m angry, I want to cross, I´m supposed to do it. I´m brave, aren´t I?

Stop! I say to myself. There is no need to fight between you two. I´m tired of hearing you both. One whining and the other angry. Make amends.Trust yourself. No more pushing, no more self-pity. I have always liked words and I have followed unknown paths before. Calm down. Enjoy the landscape. The stones, the grass and flowers, the green and blue, the drops of the morning dew shining in the spiderwebs. I can´t cross that bridge now. So what? Take a deep breath, connect with your senses, be receptive and maybe, maybe you´ll cross the bridge following a butterfly. Having left behind me all those words that hurt, words that are true, were true, but useless now. Crossing that gap is a risky adventure not knowing who will be at the other end. But I know. It will be me. Inner growth isn´t easy. It´s personal and lonely. I´d like some people coming with me, but no matter how much I push them, they won´t come until they are ready, and by then, I could be crossing another bridge, a different one ahead.

I picture myself crossing this bridge singing those words that are trapped inside. Do words come easy when they are true? Words come when it is the time. Don´t blame yourself for them not coming as soon as you want or wondering if they are true or not. They are your words. Accept them. Let them be. Set them free.